Welcome to the RandyRhythmMusicCo. and the people involved
Randy Rhythm
just a big caring kid having a listen to a track playback
Finding some words
(the real) Michael Anthony - Lyricist
Kim A. (Eh!)
Kim A. tracking vocals for the girls...
the A & B Screamers
with permission from Mom & Dad
the A & B screamers
Blessings and Love always... Randy
Living, Coping, Breathing... (The Songs)
"You don't see what my eyes see" 'Way to GO’ is the first of a hand full of stories... songs that share Ben's struggle with you...
You don't see what my eyes see
cuz my eyes is seein what you don't see
in every way...
Just shut your eyes to really know
then you'll find what really is
deep in your mind
Mine eyes seeinamazing things
that you may never know or see
that's such a dread
If you
"another day has come before us... guess it's time, to live, some more"
eyelids peel, the ceiling beckons
write your thoughts upon my skin
too much bother ya know I oughta
get my head... in front of me
it meant something, when I wrote it... or
was the author someone I don't know
SCREW THE SYSTEM...!!!
Toss that notion
It
"Just sayin; When I wake up / Why do I have to make up / A skin that's gonna save me... Living my rat life"
I don't know the God man / Not sure if we met yet / Guessin some October... I think WE will
One thing I do know / Is living sure ain't easy
If you don't understand me... Come and see my hood
Just sayin; When I wake up / Why do I have to make up / A skin that's gonna save me... Living
"Don't you call me paranoid ... don't you put a label... on me"
You know they call me paranoid / they tell me... you have nothing to fear
why is everybody / always looking my way /
this is what I see / all around my stompin grounds... / this is what I know
How am I to know / where I am to go... to find some peace and harmony
when everyone is watching me... / always looking... over
"One day I was wondering..."
One day I was wondering... where does this mess all go...?
I mean... how can I live a meaningful life.... when I know I must go.
but how do I go/when I know not the way/when I know that I live...
Only to die... One day someday
I'm here for the first time... please Give it to me now
for tomorrow is empty/until you fill it full/Let me live my today/let
"Time is stilled ... I whisper my hello..."
I'm running through the memories that I find...
and finding that, I'm missing you in my mind
Why did you go... so fast with no goodbye
I'm missing you... it makes me wanna cry...
So long... So long
Why did you have to go?
I'm telling you... I feel you in my soul
What can I do..? I don't really know!
I sing this song... trying to let you
"a random oscillation in the void of existence that dances to it’s own melody as it flows within the pulse of life"
"I’ve been here before..."
I’ve been here before...
I exist... but feel I'm barely living
heart stompin' pill pushin man
messin with my demeanor
forcing his remedy... dissin' self medication
his drugs won't be helping me
they end in the garbage can
deep in my mind
The things I find would make you scream
Quantum explosions inside my head are blowing my helpless mind
Shattering my frame of l
"What a find this thing I'm livin' inside my mind the livin's givin’"
Something loose just can't restrain it...
the mirror no longer could contain it
I cast an image... on window pane
a looking glass inside my brain
Hey I'm randy what's your pleasure???
let the rhythm be your measure
Free the ego... there now you go
let out the shadow from incognito
Tonight let loose your inner ego
paint
"any other way"
Please Mister please... I don't do no wrong
please sister please.... listen to my song
the government they have these rules that keep messin' with my life
Please Mister please... I don't do no wrong
please sister please.... listen to my song
what is it that I am to do... to get liquor in my skin?
The government won't work for me... so I don't work for work
Please Mister
"Positively Human Relatively Sane"
"Amen is the closing prayer to this emotional journey… It will, hope to still Ben’s shouting"
Holy... Holy... is the Lord...
Alleluia... Alleluia... Alleluia
Father of ours, the heavens are yours... Hallowed are you... Hallowed are you
Thy Kingdom come, Oh... let it be done, blessed by your will... Blessed be your will
On earth from your heart in heaven, let your love reign on us...
Grant we f
Living, Coping, Breathing... (the album)
the Inspiration
Please allow me introduce you to my childhood and lifelong friend... Ben...
His story is the inspiration behind the mental health music of the Randy Rhythm Project.
Living, Coping, Breathing... is a reflection of some day-day life experiences from one voice... One voice who had become dependent on the system for care.
Ben was that voice.
Ben suffered in ways almost indiscernible...
His story though is similar to many people's stories of their own trials and tribulations.
The songs here resonate from the impact of Ben's responses to life as they merged with mine and with the lives of the friends we had in common...
In Ben's stories the voices of many can be heard, for there are many like Ben, many who suffer the sometimes devastating circumstances of the effects of mental illness in their lives...
‘Way to GO’ is the first of a hand full of stories... songs that share Ben's struggle with you...
The morning after finding out that Ben had just died I found myself alone but not alone… a voice shouted out in my prayer, “You don’t see what my eyes see.”
Realizing it was something Ben would say... I listened…
In the stillness of my mourning, I heard…
This song, ‘Way to GO’ in a kind of in a spiritual sense, is an affirmation from Ben to share the telling of some of his struggles with life...
If you ‘see’... then as Ben would tell me… "You already know… the way… the way to go…"
A few days later… missing my friend I found myself drifting in thought to knocking on Ben's door... the thing with just knocking on his door is that unless you were with him the previous evening one would never know just what kind of state he might awaken to… ‘Wake up… (my friend)’ paints an image of what might have been another day…
Ben’s good friend, Michael Anthony shared with me Ben’s struggle with just being in the world today… his solution to survive was bubble wrap. This would be his buffer between his existence and the real world…
Mikey and I penned ‘The Rap’ to tell this story.
‘Without Fear’ was actually one of the biggest fears faced by Ben’s friend’s… the fear he would be beaten and robbed during one of his ‘beer runs’. (It has happened to him)…
During these beer runs, Ben would occasionally run into people he knew… A sense of paranoia often fell upon Ben when he was out getting his beer and any conversation he came into would be cut short due to his feeling someone might be following him to take his lifeblood away from him. This song is a tale of the North End beer stomp he subjected himself to regularly…
Another affirmation to tell Ben’s story came to me when I shared the demo of the song ‘One day… someday’ with Ben’s brother.
The tear in his eye that told me it really was Ben’s voice I was hearing.
‘One day… Someday’ is Ben’s lament… painting in song, one of the days that he nearly took his life…
Relationship…
The emotions that result can hit hard with anyone and sometimes the feelings can last forever.
This is ‘I can’t let you go’…
In a way it is a love song but in words it is a story of emptiness and holding on to that which cannot be held anymore…
‘Test Pattern’ captures how Ben’s eyes cast upon the world envisioned his to be. His world was as a random oscillation in the void of existence that dances to it’s own melody as it flows within the pulse of life itself.
As Michael and I sat back discussing this project that our shared memories of Ben had opened before us, and as we reflected on the experiences of Ben’s life that we had written about it was realized that one mood was not mentioned at all.
This hard hitting message not only speaks of the inner turmoil that incites the tension within, but also holds insight into the awareness of working out the issues by seeking help for… ‘Mr. Mean’
The song ‘Alter Ego’ is a painting of how Ben viewed fun to be…
No inhibitions… no reservations… just letting that Alter Ego loose to live…
Freeing that person inside that just is… Living... Holding nothing back…
“Living here for the first time”, as Ben would phrase it.
Altered Mind found a way to release it.
So many times we all sat and listened as Ben would complain about the restrictions on his freedom to live in this world as he sought to live… rules… regulations… people… systems… all troubled him.
He saw no wrong in how he conducted himself and could not understand why some people saw his life as wrong.
The answer… ‘Not knowing’
Many thanks go out to Wireless and Max Webster for the sanity reflected in the lunacy of the songs you wrote and released as part of the music we grew up with. ‘What you make it’ is one of those songs. Enjoyed immensely by Bentley Michael Borys and many of the people we call friends. This song epitomizes how Ben wanted to live life…
‘Amen’ was written years ago during a time of healing from emotional turmoil. Lacking words to explain the circumstances of life, the words in the prayer Jesus taught were viewed with a look into a different depth of meaning.
The up tempo rock beat helped too…
Funkin with Life,
Randy Rhythm
Living... Coping... Breathing
©2012 RandyRhythmMusic
Recorded, Produced & Mastered by
Randy Yaworski at RandyRhythmMusicCo
Assisted by Shaun Connelly, Gary Gurniak & Chris Pietruszka
Graphic Concept by George Loxton & Randy Yaworski
Drawing upon new inspiration...
Randy and Michael working out words for some new songs...
Stay tuned!!!
An Image Cast -
Life is a Randy Rhythm and this is a human experience with some Funky Rock Noise.
a reflection of the reasons why a music project about the life of my friend Ben needed to be shared. How his story can open eyes by providing even greater Mental Health Awareness.
How his story can open minds to sincere empathy and perhaps empower change.
By listening to songs of some of one man's life stories and the issues faced by that same person, one man who suffered with mental and emotional instability in his life.
“When you are mad, mad like this, you don't know it. Reality is what you see. When what you see shifts, departing from anyone else's reality, it's still reality to you.”
- Marya Hornbacher
Before I had heard the music behind “Living, Coping, Breathing”, I was granted the opportunity to read over the lyrics of each piece that made up the album, completely unfettered by preconceived notions and personal bias. I was touched by what I read, especially in the songs “Way To Go” and “Wake Up My Friend”, and “I Can’t Let You Go”.
The words speak with an honesty that befits a heart mourning the loss of a dear friend to a quiet tragedy - mental illness.
The words themselves are enough to well up with sympathetic tears for the pain that is left for those who loved Ben (the subject of this tribute album) but then I hit play and everything changed.
The words speak the grief, sadness, loneliness, confusion, paranoia and all the other emotions that one may feel when faced with mental illness, but it speaks it to people who are not familiar with loving someone sick with this disease. When the guitar begins, I realized that Randy would be giving me the rare opportunity to know what it feels like to see the world through Ben’s eyes. I could sympathize with the words, but Randy and his guitar would seek to teach me empathy, even for a brief moment. The driving rhythms and
the heavy distortions wrap the listener in a place that takes you from anxiety and panic, to spinning in confusion and to an eerie calm that foreshadows something dark to come. I found myself understanding why Ben would cry out to be wrapped in a bubble that would keep him safe, and one can’t help but to look at oneself and wonder how unfriendly to an afflicted mind our system really is.
I applaud the effort evident in each note and each word written from the heart of a caring and understanding soul setting out to tell Ben’s story. Living, Coping, Breathing is a rare glimpse into a tragic existence, one where the base human need to communicate and feel understood is so far out of reach.
Kim Atamanchuk - Rock Music Aficionado
We all are, Living, Coping, Breathing...
Please allow me to continue to introduce you to my childhood and lifelong friend... Ben...
His story is the motivation behind the Randy Rhythm Project.
It seems like yesterday that his spark lit my flame.
Ben was my best friend. He passed away Oct. 2, 2011
Living, Coping, Breathing... is a journey into the daily life of a person who lives in a realm we don’t quite understand.
Ben lived in that realm…
Ben suffered in ways almost indiscernible, but progressively fatal.
His story is similar to many people's stories of treading through life with their own trials and tribulations.
The songs captured on the album Living, Coping, Breathing... resonate from the impact of Ben's responses to life as they merged with my life and with the lives of the friends we had in common...
In Ben's stories the voices of many can be heard, for there are many like Ben, many who suffer the sometimes devastating circumstances of the effects of mental and/or emotional instability in their lives...
Living, Coping, Breathing… is Ben’s voice
To help the world understand how subtle and fragile the aspect of Mental Health is in anyone’s life.
It is through better awareness and greater understanding that we can all find ways to harmonize our lives with the delicate balance of existence that engulfs the lives of seemingly normal people like Ben... People who live… who cope… and who continue to breathe…
Sometimes with great difficulty as breakdowns can and do happen... Even to our best friends… then one day... their world shatters... and it affects all of ours...
When Ben passed away.
Ben’s brother became irate. He claimed the system let Ben slide through the cracks.
He and the next door neighbor reached out to the press to try to incite a story. I sat back and wondered what I could or should be doing.
Then something happened.
It may be hard to believe this... but I tell you… Ben spoke…
His shouting out to me became the first song I wrote
Michael Anthony who is my song writing partner, my good friend, and most important to the song writing, Michael was also a good friend of Ben’s... while Michael and I grieved we began sharing memories… obscure and sporadic… leaving nothing out as too absurd…
Over the time since Ben’s passing, the writing that came to be was not of our own… it became almost like a third entity. The writing grew… into rehearsing... into recording... then mixing... 12 songs to be on the Living, Coping, Breathing… album.
The album is dedicated to the everlasting imprint that Ben had on all of us…
11 songs and one cover tune later we found,…
or let’s say, Ben delivered the voice he wants to be spoken on the subject of Mental Health/Mental Illness.
Somehow the energy emanated from Ben's life… his aura… is reflected in song… put to heavy rock music.
Living, Coping, Breathing... paints a picture of the thoughts in the mind of one who suffered from Mental Health issues.
Our hope is that the album will take you on a journey… as if you visited Ben with me and spent time with him for a few days.
For meaning greater than my life… I am to bring Ben’s voice to the world.
I share all this with you so you can somehow get to know what Ben was really like…
Above all I mentioned is the fact that I knew Ben.
Ben was a dreamer… a scholar in his own mind…
I listened and got to know his dreams…
Some of them can make the world a better place.
I do hope we can realize some of his dreams.
“Don’t call it Mental Illness… all of us are…
Living, Coping, Breathing…” Ben Borys
May we see what his eyes see…
Randy Rhythm